Saturday, November 20, 2010


So it has been a while and I am sorry.  I know I have such an exciting life and you guys are just aching to hear all about it, so I will try to do much better. Riiiight....

So, I thought I would get a little personal today since this is somewhat of an anonymous forum for me, and see what people think.  It seems lately I have been trying to come out of my shell, but every time I make progress, I self destruct and crawl right back into my shell.  It really makes no sense to me.  To be honest, at one point in my life, I was the most extroverted person I have ever known... and then one day, that all changed.  I am not sure what caused it, but suddenly I was content just keeping to myself.  I got lost in movies, fictional books and gaming.  Gaming became my real society... It became another identity for me, albeit, a temporary one as I went from game to game.  It seems I got so lost in this world that I have now forgotten how to communicate with the outside in a meaningful way.  At work, it is a different story... I can pretend to be interested and involved all day long, but when it comes to my private life and my personal relationships, I just can not seem to or want to connect.  Am I alone feeling like this?

I could use a little feed back, and I know it is possible that no one will actually read this because I have been gone for so long, but it was worth a shot. 

In case you were wondering, I never did finish the last Final Fantasy installment that I started.  I got too depressed to even mess with that.  Well, maybe not depressed, but I was frustrated to the point where I just wanted to sit around and be pissed off and do nothing.  Vicious cycle huh?  I got pretty close to the end of it, and then I just stopped... That is not like me.  I guess that is why I even avoided my blog.  What do you think when an introvert becomes so introverted that he avoids even his most normal avenues of communication?  I mean, this is a blog and in a sense, I even feared communication with some of you people out there that I dont even really know.... Man I am messed up at the moment.

I need a vacation in a terrible way.  But even when I do that, I will probably go someplace pointless and sit in a hotel room and continue to do nothing.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Well, it seems that the pesky rain has come to an end for a while, so I will finally be able to get back to work!  It has been over a week and I have no income.  I need an evening job or an online job that I can just work work work when I am not out working.  I spend so much time on this computer during down time, I might as well make it worth while. I considered ChaCha, but that is just a frustrating process... Any other ideas out there?  Chat help, data entry... anything.

On a side note, I have been playing Final Fantasy 12... I have hit an impasse and am frustrated at the moment.  I dont remember having this much trouble with this one when I played it the first time. But, oh well.  It has served me well these past few days and is a great game.  To be honest, it was one of my more favorite of the series.  It is easy to grasp and the story line doesnt get lost when you go on side quests, which there seem to be plenty. 

If you ever have a period in your life where you have nothing to do with your life, I recommend this one!  Anyway, I hope everyone has had a wonderful day thus far!

Tomorrow I work, so I will have plenty to complain about when I get home.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

What is this Halo madness???

Ok... I am about to admit to something on here that may upset the masses.  I have never played Halo.  I know, it is just horrible, but honestly, I have never seen the allure!  It looks complicated and frustrating to me.  The release of this newest version has seemed to cause some sort of pandemonium around the country... almost as if they have never seen the game before.  Honestly, I see no real difference!

So, with that in mind, someone please tell me what is up.  About the only response I seem to get from people are, "oh it is just so awesome!"  Frankly, that is not good enough.  That is an opinion...  What is different, what makes this game tick, why is it so darn popular?  I need to be enlightened.

On a side note, I have been going to the gym a lot.  Maybe I will become healthy again and find a nice woman.  You never know!!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Well poop...

It seems I am failing at this whole blogging thing at the moment.  I think this will just have to be one of those things that I have to train myself to do.  Of course, my mood as of late has not helped me at all.  When I get depressed, it seems that I become pretty much worthless.  A lot of things have change in my life recently, and it seems that the way I have decided to deal with them is to just close in on myself. I even stopped playing the game I started and picked another one... I know that doesnt sound all that extreme, but, this is what people with my disorder tend to do. 

Another problem I have is that my business has come to a grinding halt... Now, I think I need a job.  However, I can only take on night work so it does not interfere with my daytime activities, which at the moment are nil.  I have a job to do, but the rain we keep getting here keeps me from working.  It is truly frustrating... I would like a job I can do at night from home... Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.  

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Things I do

I am a very solitary person... Well, actually, I am a hermit.  I am, by nature, an introvert.  However, when out in public, I am an extrovert out of necessity.  The kind of work I am involved in absolutely requires it, but when I get home and out of the worldly environment, I quickly return to my introverted self. 

Typically this is a problem... My life has no real excitement other than the excitement that I create for myself. So, what do I do?  I do what every other nerd out there does.  I get lost in a world of made up universes in the land of RPGs.  So, I think I will chronicle my adventures and reviews of various games that have brought me joy.  I doubt any of you will really care about my opinion as I am old and set in my ways, but I will share it anyway! Old games, new games... You can even make suggestions.  My reviews will be honest and in real time as I run thru them, so patience will have to be an understanding...

Last night I started to play Final Fantasy X.  Not exactly an oldy yet, but I found it and started to play again.  First impression; it looks like crap on a large HDTV.


Well, after years of debate, I have decided to share my dirty laundry on the Web... Stay tuned, as this could get quite exciting.  It is like therapy for me.